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When Home is a Nursing Home: How to Keep a Loved One Involved in Life

By Lisa M. Petsche

If your relative has recently been admitted to a long-term care facility, you can help with the adjustment by reinforcing your loved one's identity and ensuring as much continuity as possible. One way to do this is by sharing psychosocial (nonmedical) information with staff to help them get to know him or her.Valuable personal information includes birthplace and other places lived; family of origin; education; work history; successes, losses and other challenges; significant relationships; pastimes and skills; personality and coping style; cultural and religious background; values and beliefs; routines and habits; likes and dislikes; and what brings comfort when something upsetting happens.

Such information assists staff in seeing a unique person rather than simply someone with a set of physical needs (especially valuable if your loved one is unable to communicate or the disease has caused behavioral changes.) It also guides staff in individualizing a care plan. In addition, they can use psychosocial information to initiate conversation, putting your loved one at ease and building rapport; and to introduce him or her to residents with similar backgrounds or interests and match recreation programs to fit specific needs.

There are also many direct ways you can help your relative feel valued and connected to preadmission life:

• Bring in possessions from home to personalize the person's room.
• Supply a large calendar with special occasions marked.
• Plan to visit when you are not rushed for time. Develop a regular visiting schedule so your relative knows when to expect you and can anticipate your next visit. Telephone between visits if you can't get in as often as he or she would like.
• Bring flowers from your garden or bring some favorite foods.
• Change room decorations to reflect the seasons and holidays.
• Actively listen to what your relative has to tell you. Show interest in his or her daily activities.
• Keep your loved one informed about current events by supplying a radio or television or arranging for a newspaper subscription.
• Recreate routines from home, such as playing cards or watching a favorite TV program together.
• Encourage your relative to try some recreational programs or attend a resident council meeting. Join in yourself for a weekly worship service or special events.
• Keep him or her up-to-date on news about friends and relatives, and involve your loved one in family decision- making.
• Notify family members and friends of the new address and phone number and encourage them to call, write or visit. Offer to join them for the first visit if they express anxiety.
• Plan activities outside the institution. Go for a walk around the neighborhood or take a drive, for example. If your relative is wheelchairdependent, register with the local accessible transportation service so you can take your relative to a restaurant, the mall or community events.
• If it's possible, arrange for him or her to come home for a few hours.
• Continue to include your loved one in family celebrations. If members' homes aren't accessible, choose a restaurant or banquet hall that is, or ask staff to help you plan a gathering onsite. Videotape or photograph events your relative is unable to attend to share later.